I feel like I'm at a crossroads of two paths. In front of me, I see one path that is the stay at home mommy, who gets pregnant again soon, and births another wonderful one or two more kids. She keeps the home tidy, nurses each kid their first year of life, and teaches them wonderful silly songs while visiting the zoo. Then, the other path is the graduate student who has taken a short break from teaching full time to get re-educated with the ways of her profession. She is on her way to becoming the best she can be in her field, maybe even teaching at the college level one day. Both of these desires are pulling very strongly on my heart. I know that it is possible to complete all of these things, but I'm questioning if I can do it all at the same time--and do them well. I've always wanted to have my children close in age, but lately, I'm beginning to think that we should wait until I've finished school before we have another one. I've heard from many parents that two is much harder than one. I just want to be sure that I'm not thinking too practically that I'm leaving God out of this decision. I know that he has given me the skills to think through issues like this, but I really need his direction. If I shouldn't go to school, I need a clear answer, because I am moving towards this very quickly, and it will cost us a pretty penny that we could use elsewhere right now! At the same time, I know that this is probably the best time for me to do this, because as we have more kids, it will only get harder. I don't want to be 40 years old before I go back for my masters.
I also need to know how big my plate is. One of the Acts 29 messages we listened to this weekend mentioned that we all have different size plates. We need to know how big our plate is, and fill it. Some people have small plates, some have big. I need to know how big my plate is. Can I be a mommy, a wife, a grad. student, and a teacher--oh, and a church planter? And where does having baby #2 come in? I want to think my plate is big enough for all of this. Who am I kidding--I'm no superwoman. What's gotta give?
About Me
- Mandy Grisham
- I'm a mama, wife, friend, teacher, community organizer, PTA volunteer, soccer mom, pastor, daughter, and sister. Life is very FULL for this Fuller girl. And Memphis is home. My boys are the most amazing gifts God has given me, next to my husband, of course! We have a lot of fun in our house. Don't judge us if you see our evening dance party in the living room!
2 comments:
Mandy, after reading the "two paths" about the plates and the several things on your horizon I see you have a lot to think/pray about. It seems like Orff is really meaningful to you. I think being a parent and doing grad work would be hard enough. Actually, doing grad work would be hard enough. Especially with the church plant. I guess it depends on where you see yourself within the church plant, the time constraints and what you want to contribute. I know music is deep within you. I'd really like to see you grow in that satisfaction. Seminary was like that for me. I remember when my name was called and I said to the Lord as I was walking toward the stage, "This is the proudest moment of my life." It took patience and tremendous effort but I accomplished that. I can see you really excelling in your music and work. Could Orff be a ministry of yours? A music or arts school?
Jason
Jason, you bring up some good questions for me. At this point, I really feel called to the public school, especially after going to the Orff concert this week. In some ways, being in the school part-time may lead to my ministry within the church plant. Maybe a church-school leison or volunteer coordinator -- definately the outward journey stuff. Robert's been mentioning that I may be good at leading the children's ministry. I feel capable, but I want to feel called to it if I do it. I appreciate your thoughts. Can't wait for you and Barb to be here! You're missed.
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