Gentleman in the Making

At lunch today, we celebrated the end of Fall Break with Chick-fil-A! Adam begged for a brownie, which is typically not part of our fast-food order, but I told him we could split one (being the special occasion!) He fussed about splitting it, but eventually obliged. After lunch, we split the brownie, which was delightful. As he examined his last bite, he looked at me with big blue eyes, smiled and said, "You can have the last bite if you want, mom."

He will make a special woman very happy one day! (Or he'll realize that chocolate covers all manners of sin!)

Thoughts About Money

Confession: I worry. I worry about money. I worry about money a lot. You can imagine that I think God has a lot to teach me about this subject. One way he has made sure I learn this lesson is by marrying me to one of best men on earth...but who has never and probably will never have a simple, steady income with one W-2 form at tax time. At last count, Robert has had 19 part-time jobs in the last ten years, mostly to support his church-planting “habit.” Only one of those provided insurance for our family. Nevertheless, we have never gone hungry. We have a nice house, two nice cars, and memberships to the zoo and pool. But we also know how to make a dollar last as long as possible when we need it to. Last week, our Community Group discussed the topic of money and how we should steward the money that God has entrusted us with.

One thought that was mentioned is that studies show that no matter how much a person makes, when asked the question, “How much money do you need to be happy?” the answer is always 10-20% more than their actual income.

Another blog I read had a post a few months ago about the income of people around the world. A study showed that a person with an annual income of $47,000 is in the top 1% wealthiest people in the world. A person with an annual income of $34,000 is in the top 5% wealthiest people in the world.

The following day, an e-mail was sent to our community group with a link to an article from the Seattle Times with a story about Warren Buffett’s challenge to billionaires around the world to donate most of their income to charity. Buffett gives 95% of his income to charity while living off 5%.

Now, my perspective is that, sure, Buffett makes billions, so to him 5% still isn’t that bad. But, if I’m in the top 5-1% of the wealthiest in the world...wouldn’t someone else look at my income and wonder why I can’t live off of only 5%?

I’ve been reminded of the month I spent in India several years ago. One of the biggest take-aways from that trip was the thought, “how did God choose me to born into the circumstances I have...and not into the leper colony in the slums of Delhi?” When I realized that God is sovereign and He loves each of us equally, from the most wealthy to the “least of these,” I have to ask “Why me?” Why do I never worry about food or clothing? Why do I always have things to give away? Then I’m reminded that we are “blessed to be a blessing.” To whom much is given, much is required.

There are times when I am selfish with my money. My things. My time. There are times when I’m discouraged that I’m not the one in the home that’s twice as big as mine. Then I remember my friends who are selling everything they have and moving their 9 children to Africa to care for orphans. I remember the mom in India who carried a stack of bricks on her head and shoulders from one block to the next, every day for hours at a time. I’ve been challenged. And I hope to make some changes.

Why I Stopped Watching "Lost"

I invested 5 years into the show Lost. Why would I stop just short of the finale? I'm learning that sometimes we have to make choices and decide how to invest our time. During some seasons of my life, my discretionary time was overflowing. I could do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I could watch hours of television if I wanted. Or I could travel when and where I wanted. Or I could volunteer when and where I wanted. I loved that season of my life. I'm sure I'll see an abundance of discretionary time again. But at the moment, my commitments to family, church, friends (and not to mention keeping up my home) have pretty much blocked out all of my google calendar (actually "calendars." I have nine.)

Something happened in January, though. A switch clicked that told me I had to start taking care of me. I couldn't let all of my discretionary time be controlled by obligations or my leftovers be "vegging" in front of the tv because all of my energy had been totally zapped by said obligations.

So, when Lost premiered, I gave it up. I just didn't have an extra hour a week to give. Instead, I made a choice to begin a running regimen that would train me for my first 5k. I began running about 3 hours a week and have now logged about 130 miles since mid-February. I feel better than I ever have, and I regret ever making fun of runners. I am in great company with a group of moms who started running on Sundays and ran a local 4 mile race together a few weeks ago.

Did I miss Lost? No. Do I regret my new 3 hour/week obligation? Heck no! Do I like having more energy and fitting into "skinny" jeans? Heck yeah! To all of my fellow beginner runners, keep it up!! To my friends still sitting on the couch who want off, here is the training schedule I followed. Good luck!

Vacation

Yes...it was amazing, relaxing, fun, rejuvinating, etc...! What more could we ask for on a tenth anniversary getaway. When we went to Cancun on our honeymoon nearly 11 years ago, we went fairly cheap. But, then the internet came along and has made travel much more competitive. So, we were able to get away for our big tenth anniversary trip, and probably paid the same amount that we did for our honeymoon! Crazy! And we definitely had some upgrades on this trip. All-inclusive, 7 nights, gorgeous room and suite. But the trip was so different from our honeymoon.

Back then, we thought we really knew each other after dating for 3 years. Gosh, looking back, we barely knew each other. Our honeymoon was the first time we had actually been together for five consecutive days. Most of our dating had taken place between Jackson, TN and Nashville, TN on weekends and holidays. We had so much ahead of us, so many unknowns. Little did I know that six months later, Robert would want to move across the country, and 12 months later, we would. We would have an adventurous six years in the Bay Area, have two amazing sons, would move to Memphis and have such a great life.

This trip was exactly what we needed. Rest. And a little fun! It's easy for life, whether it's kids, work, or for us, ministry, to just consume our marriage relationship. This trip gave us an opportunity to have some quality and quantity time together. It was awkward at times, to be honest. We had been moving at such a fast pace, that it was hard to slow down for 8 days. By the end of the trip, we were both a little antsy! But, for the most part, it's because we both love what we do and were rested enough to get back to it!

The highlights:

• 9 to 5 under a cabana on the edge of the beautiful ocean!
• Body surfing
• The boys barely missed us and had a great time with my parents riding 4 wheelers and playing in the country. They even came home with better manners than they left with!
• All you can eat and drink for 8 days! (And I didn't even gain a pound, amazingly!)
• Dressy date nights every evening

Birthday Blessings!

A few weeks ago, I really didn't think that my 32nd birthday would be anything special. Especially after the week the Grisham family had. First, Robert had a kidney stone for several days, including one trip to the ER, three trips to Walgreens, and another trip to the doctor. When he was home, he was laid up in bed, being soothed by vicodin. Second, I strained a muscle in my shoulder that caused minor irritation for the same number of days, but caused several headaches (including one brutal headache that kept me from enjoying the Cooper Young Art Auction on Sat. night and caused me to throw up in the bathroom at Young Ave. Deli...what can I say, I think it's a rite of passage for a Memphian.) That wouldn't be much to complain about, only I was having to be the single parent most of the days while Robert was laid up. And Micah had no concern for mommy's hurt shoulder. All 25 pounds of his rebellious 22 month old-self tried to run from me any chance he could, leaving me to carry him around more than I should have. Many friends and family helped out with the kids, which was the first of many blessings that got us through.

The first birthday celebration was with Robert, who by this point on Monday was feeling a little better, and took me to Au Fond, a new French cafe in our neighborhood. It was a terrific lunch, and great company! Then, I escaped by myself for a few hours to do some shopping while Nana kept the boys. While I was shopping, I got a text from my friend Kristi, that said our family's photo had won the "Cutest Family in Memphis" contest and will be competing with 52 other photos for a brand new car! WOW! (We didn't win the car, but it was fun to support Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep!)

Then, I came home to find my future brother-in-law, Stephen, had dropped off a present from he and Megan, a gift card (for more shopping!) and then a bag full of shoes that she was passing on to me!! (Yay for little sister getting married and having to clean out her huge closet to make room for her new husband's clothes!!) Of course, facebook makes birthdays known to your entire world, so I was bombarded with wishes from loving friends from so many different seasons of my life. It was surreal to hear from people I've loved my entire life all in one day. And then, three of my best girlfriends took me out to dinner at Cafe 1912! We sat on the patio, had amazing food and great conversation! It was a perfect ending to a memorable birthday.

I could not think a birthday could get any better. But it did. My accountability partner, who is another wonderfully gifted photographer, came to our weekly meeting with a wrapped canvas. As I opened it, she listed 7 friends from NC who contributed to this gift for me. It was the canvas print of her "Stars Hollow" photo that she had donated to the Cooper Young art auction (really, it's the Cooper Young gazebo in the snow, but she's a Gilmore Girls fan too and gets it!) I have loved that photo since I saw it several months ago, and really wanted to win it in the CY auction on Saturday night, but had the brutal headache that kept me from trying to beat out the 10 other folks who were bidding on it. Seeing the beautiful canvas in my home today, I am stunned and overwhelmed. I am blessed to have wonderful friends!

Micah the Sleeper

Some of my friends may hate me right now. For several weeks, this little man has slept from 7:30 at night to as late as 11:30 a.m.! It's crazy, I know. And yes, I've checked the windows to be sure he hasn't been slipping out at night to go clubbin'. The sleep phase has tapered back to normal now (waking up at 8:00 or so), but for a while it was really nice-at least on the days I didn't have to get out of the house in the morning. But as you can see from the picture, I've just got a really laid back kiddo who likes his sleep!

My Two Sons

This picture captures the exact personalities of my two sons during this season. Adam rambunctiously jousting with his lightsaber, and Micah sitting quietly in the chair reading a book.

Annual Easter Egg Hunt

For the fourth year in a row, NC organized and participated in the neighborhood Easter Egg hunt. It has grown into a wonderful tradition that many families attend. My friend, Amanda Hill, captured some great moments and posted them to her photography blog.

Over a hundred people came out on the gorgeous day to see the little ones "hunt" for a 1000 eggs. I use the term "hunt" loosely, because there wasn't much grass and the eggs were pretty much just sitting on the ground rather then hidden in the grass. But the kids had fun.

We had a hunt for 0-2 year olds, with over 20 kids. And another hunt for 3-5 year olds, with over 30 kids. I originally planned to do a third hunt for the 6 and older group, but we had only 3. This shows how young our neighborhood is. My hope is that the 40 or so families who came to the hunt this year will stay in our great neighborhood. I know that making Peabody our neighborhood school is part of the solution.

This is a pic (courtesy of Kate Lareau) of Adam with a few of his future Peabody classmates: Walt, Adam, Maddox, Meredith, and Charlotte.

The Carpool Diaries

A few months ago, we began our carpool adventures with our close friends, the Spicklers. Walt and Adam have become the best of friends since meeting at our toddler Halloween party when they were 1. They are now 4.5 and 5 and have started their education in the same CLUE classroom two mornings a week at Downtown Elementary. Since we conveniently live just a few blocks from each other, and Walt's dad, Josh, conveniently works downtown, we decided to give carpooling a try.

We didn't realize what entertainment would come from overhearing their backseat conversations, and we haven't stopped laughing. We thought we'd capture at least some of their hilarity in a blog called The Carpool Diaries. You can find it at www.whatsgoingonbackthere.blogspot.com.

They will begin Kindergarten in a few short months at our neighborhood school, Peabody Elementary, which is walking distance from both of our houses. I'm not sure how long The Carpool Diaries will last, but enjoy it while it does! I promise you will get a good education on the ins and outs of Star Wars, as well as some pretty interesting preschool theology!

Camping

Robert and I tried something new this weekend. When you've been married eleven years, we've realized it's good to mix it up a little bit. I've also learned that this helps quench Robert's desire for "newness" and "change" a lot easier than moving across the country, starting a new ministry, or creating a new business! ;) So, we tried camping together for the first time. Apparently, we thought about it five years ago, because that is when we bought our tent. We got it out of the attic, dusted it off, and hoped for the best!

We headed to Shelby Forest about 30 minutes from Memphis and staked our home for the next 24 hours.

Camping wouldn't be camping without smore's!

And, yes, I helped myself to two!

Despite the wet wood, lack of campfire, and a Robert vs. a raccoon showdown, we had a pretty groovy time. Not sure when we'll attempt to take the kids, but we have hopes of becoming a camping family one of these days! If you camp, I'd love to hear your thoughts or memories of favorite camping experiences!

Morning Conversations

Adam has always been an early riser. The other day, we were bragging about how Micah has had a few mornings where he's slept until 10:30! Adam replied, "Once, I woke up AFTER my mom and dad did!" Yes...once.

So, most mornings, around 6 or 6:30, I'll hear a thud (Adam jumping out of his bed), then his bedroom door creaking open, then our bedroom door creaking open, and if I keep my eyes shut, he'll go over to Robert's side of the bed and crawl into bed between us. Some mornings, I stay asleep (I really LOVE my sleep), and let Robert do the morning duties. Other mornings, I slowly open my eyes to find my little prince, two inches from my face, staring back at me while still sucking his thumb. (We're working on that, but what can I say, he'll only be small once!)

Two mornings a week, Robert is out of the house for meetings before this scenario takes place, so Adam just gets in bed with me until my eyes open. Today was one of these mornings and I was greeted with a "mom, I thought you had two heads!" I replied, "Really? Did that scare you?" To which he responded, "Of course not! I'm not scared of you." Of course.

Then he continued, "I had a dream last night. I went into my classroom and there was a big scary monster. Everyone was afraid. But I stabbed the monster's skin, and the whole class cheered for me!" (this conversation is even funnier if you remember that he cannot say his r's or l's!)

I'm afraid he has inherited my dream patterns of saving the world (or class) from disaster. I once saved the San Francisco Giants from a tsunami... I can't wait to hear about his other superhero adventures!

Our family is growing!

This is my beautiful sister, Megan, and her fiance, Stephen. In just a few months they will be Mr. and Mrs. Wilson! I've always wondered who would join our family as Megan's husband and be my brother-in-law and the boys' uncle. And I'm so happy that Megan and Stephen found each other. It has been a whirlwind of a love story and I'm sure the beginning of a great lifelong adventure together!

Wanna Be Somebody

Adam: Mom, when I grow up, I don't want to get married. I wanna be somebody.

Me: Well, you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up, and you can still be married if you want.

Adam: (after a moment...) I think I want to get married. And I'll punish my children when they do bad things.

We both laughed hysterically. Are children really a direct reflection of their parents?

Peabody Matters, Part 3

Since the last Peabody Matters post back in November, we have had two informal discussions with several midtown families who have a 2010 Kindergarten student. Many of these families also participated in the Open House at Peabody in January. After the first discussion, we decided to take some time during December and January, think about this big decision and do more research. Some families attended more than one open house. Then we came together on Feb. 1 to talk about what each families' impressions were and what they were thinking. This may seem like too much, but if you read the previous posts, you can see why it is needed.

To begin the discussion, I asked each family to share something that has impressed them about Peabody and something that they are concerned about. And then asked them to put a percentage to their decision to send their child to Peabody. The first mom shared that she has been very impressed with the school, loves that it is a true neighborhood school which is very important to her, and even with the option to go to Campus school in first grade, she is leaning toward keeping her child at Peabody. She said her percentage was 98%.

The next family shared that they were all in, 100%. Peabody is a great school, the principal and teachers have been very impressive. The third family said the same thing. One by one, each family shared their extreme confidence that Peabody was, not only an excellent school, but the best choice for their child even when given other public school options like Richland, Snowden, Grahamwood, or Campus School.

One mom said that Peabody's presentation at Open House was better than Campus School's and she was able to have more teacher interaction at the Peabody Open House. She said she thought she was watching a documentary about great teaching when she dropped in the classrooms.

We heard from a current Snowden Elementary parent about how she struggled with their decision for a while, but have been so pleased with their child's education. I asked a dear friend, Paula Payne, to share her perspective as a Memphis City Schools teacher and parent. She inspired us with her passion for this movement. She shared her support for MCS and the educational opportunities they offer all the way through high school. She offered her opinion on Snowden Middle School and Central High School saying that those schools should be viable options for us when our children reach that age, that the Optional Programs were just as strong academically as the schools in East Memphis. They need more Midtown and Downtown families there.

Later in the evening, another parent made the comment that she has noticed that people with the most hesitation are deeply rooted in Memphis, most often with family in the suburbs. I've noticed that too and realized that most people in the room were not from Memphis. As an outsider to Memphis, this has concerned me over the last four years. I've also noticed that those from Memphis often form opinions about the school, and sometimes make their decisions, without doing any research. Seeing this happen three years ago is what inspired us to begin this research for ourselves and do what we can to see that everyone has the facts. Peabody won't be for everybody. There are so many educational philosophies out there and so many different ways to educate your child. But the people of our city and our neighborhood must stop making decisions based on fear and not on facts.

These seven families are excited about what lies ahead. We are excited to meet great Peabody families who have so easily made this decision before us. We are excited for the great education our children will receive from the teachers, other students, and the great programs the school offers. We are excited to be the minority. We are excited to continue to bridge the gap between the school and the community. We are excited about the future. Stay tuned!

Reflection on 4 years ago

Around our house, we say that the antidote for worry is praise. And praise comes through reflection. Today marks the 4 year anniversary of our move to Memphis...coincidentally, it was also THE most stressful day of my entire life. I think more painful than childbirth...well, I've had c-sections, but you know what I mean.

On this day 4 years ago, we had packed up our two bedroom house in San Leandro into a 20 feet long moving truck. We were very budget minded, and packed ourselves. Not very smart for a mom who had a nursing 6 month old and a husband who has a very high tolerance for chaos. We had several friends who offered to help us load, but one by one, they backed out or could only help for a brief time.

When we finally shut the door on the moving truck, Robert and his dad took off in the cars for their 3 day journey across the country. In the meantime, a friend took me, Adam, and Jackdog to a hotel so we could catch our planes the following day. I first had to get Jackdog checked in. He couldn't fly Southwest with us, so I had to ship him with American. Only, the temperature in Dallas (where he had a layover) was too cold for him to fly there...AA put him on a later flight. Then, I had to go back to the hotel, get my friend and Adam and come back to the airport for our flight.

It had been such an emotional and exhausting week, that once the flight took off, I lost it. Fortunately, Adam was in his carseat or with a caring flight attendant. But I spent most of the 4 hour flight in the bathroom vomiting. Stress had never before taken its toll on me that way. And I remember feeling the "closure" of that season of my life. The six years of memories, friends, experiences. But the excitement and fear of the unknown of what lay ahead of us in Memphis. The pilot actually escorted me off the plane after we landed where my sister was waiting for me. Within a day, I felt better and could operate as the moving coordinator again.

I pray that we never endure that experience again and I am so glad that God brought us to Memphis. When I read this, I'm so blessed to see His hand over the last 4 years. If you are reading this, and you are in my Memphis life, thank you for being a new friend and for making my life so rich. If you are part of my California life, I miss you so much and am so glad you were part of my journey for a while. My experiences there have definitely shaped who I am today.

Micah the Rocker

Last weekend, we discovered that, even with a serious temperament, Micah is a rocker. It started with the preparation for Walt's 5th birthday party at Rock'n'Romp. The invitation said to come dressed like a rocker. We already know that Adam can keep a beat, and knew that Micah could sing. What we discovered after I spiked Micah's hair, was that he can really own the rocker persona.

At Rock'n'Romp, which was hosted by the Center for Southern Folklore:

1. Micah learned to run (and in a sea of hundreds of kids and parents, this wasn't easy for either of us.)

2. Micah learned to sit'n'spin as if he's been doing it his whole life; and

3. Micah learned to rock, like head bang, scream your head off and dance, kind of rock.

I loved it! And at this age, he was in my arms or lap for most of the rockin'. SO much fun. I know it won't be long before I'll cramp his style. But we had a great time and I loved learning just a little more about this little man in my life!

Of course, Adam always rocks this look.

Yes, his hair is purple...

Adam calls their band "Star Wars Musical."

Highlights from Christmas

Christmas was a wonderful time again for the Grisham family. It was our third year to participate in Advent Conspiracy and we certainly slowed down even more this year. Despite having 4 different family Christmas gatherings, they were all spaced out and easy on our schedules. Each one was unique and enjoyable. And Neighborhood Church had some really great events to guide us in our "relational giving" and "loving all."

My favorite Christmas highlights were:

• Caroling at the Cooper Young gazebo: The young families in my neighborhood gathered to sing carols and then were followed by the holiday concert of our neighborhood school choir. It was cold, old-fashioned, and fun. A little ghetto (we do live in the city!) and I had to take down the Christmas lights the next morning to keep them from being stolen. But for a brief moment, we had an idyllic, Stars Hollowish little neighborhood!

• The Clean Water party at the Spicklers: This was the second year they have given this party and we collected $500 for Living Water International. The best part was hanging out with my favorite people near the festive twinkle lights!
• The Christmas service at NC. I invited a guest musician and neighbor, Art Edmaiston, to join Robert for this service and was moved to tears during their performance. On soprano sax, he played O Holy Night, What Child is This, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, The First Noel and Silent Night. It was one of the most worshipful experiences I have had this year.
• Christmas morning at the Grisham home. This was a first for us. Santa actually visited us at home this year! We all really loved it. Santa brought us a Wii and a few games. We spent the morning creating our Miis. And then after breakfast, we talked about Compassion International with Adam and he helped us choose to adopt Gino, a boy his age from the Phillipines. We look forward to getting to know Gino as we pray for him and write him letters.

Adam's letter to Santa. Actually, the first letter he has written.

• Family Christmas Gatherings (and various pictures)

Adam and Yoda, gift from Aunt Megan

Aunt Megan reading the Nativity Story...

Micah demanded to sit in her lap while she read.

Adam's gift from Pa Max and Mama Jerri, his own scooter!

Up was in this Christmas! From Nana and Pa Rick

Yes, Jackdog got a snuggie from Bugula...spoiled dog!

And the newest future addition to the family,

Stephen Wilson, met the whole Fuller fam this day!

Even Granny got in on the Wii action. She's a pro at bowling!

And Pa Howard painted this beautiful wooden rocking horse for Micah.

Addie gave him a ride (and apparently Adam wanted a ride as well...)

We hope your Christmas was wonderful too!

Surprise!! Robert's 35!

Since Robert's birthday is exactly a week before Christmas, he normally gets jipped when it comes to celebrating. Since 35 seems to be a big deal (I mean, it's half way to 70!), I thought it would be fun to surprise him with a bash. With a few co-conspirators, we pulled it off and he had NO idea! What fun! Here are a few snapshots of the night. Not pictured are the videos of some of his college voice recitals and the "amazing" re-editing of the youtube popular Hitler parody.

35 IS a lot of candles!

Happy Birthday, hon!