Too good to be true?

Well, after this somewhat long journey of finding a decent part-time job in Memphis, I think I will have my dream job. I am quite timid as I write that because I don't want to be disappointed. But after spending much time in prayer about this, I began to pray for a few specific things. And, by golly, the Lord has provided every request! I am still amazed and somewhat stunned that this particular job has been offered. First, it is a part-time job in Memphis City Schools, which has been my first choice for a job the whole time. Even as I've interviewed with other schools and even worked for two different schools, Memphis City has stayed my favorite possibility. This is surprising because two months ago, I was told that they would not hire any part-time Orff teachers, (thus why I took another job). Second, the job I've been offered is at one school with a regular size music classroom. When I interviewed, I basically said I'd be willing to start at the bottom of the totem pole, teaching from a cart that traveled from class to class, even school to school. Third, my partner teacher, Deanna, is a Master Orff teacher who taught my Level II class this summer. She is a riot and will be fun to work with. Plus, I will learn so much from her. She has already been through the Masters program at U of M and even has her PhD in music history. The fourth reason this may be too good to be true, is that it pays really well, and I just found out today that even though I will only teach 2.5 days a week, it comes with full benefits! What?!! God can be so good.

Every night as I rock my baby to sleep, Robert and I sing a song and then say a prayer for Adam. Most nights the song we sing is "God is so good," which is the song my parents sang to me every night as a child. The song's second verse is "He answers prayers." The third verse is "He has done great things." Indeed, he is so good, he answers prayers, and he has done great things.

Orff

I get to act like a buffoon for two weeks this summer. I've had this opportunity many summers over the past few years. I imagine that I'll get to do this for many summers to come. Getting a Master's in Orff Schulwerk is much like getting a Master's in being a kid again. Today, I've banged on instruments, pranced around like dozens of animals, imitated the sounds of dozens of animals, sung silly songs (even one about Vodka!), and joked around with my classmates. It has to be the most fun any person could have while in graduate school! I thought I would have a tough time leaving Adam, but he is having a good time with my mom while I'm gone during the day.

I miss teaching. I've loved having most of this year off to be a mommy, but I really enjoy teaching and am ready to get back. As I'm learning so many things in this class, I want to visualize how I'll apply it. But I only imagine my Hillside kids and classroom. I don't know what situation I'll be in next, so I can't imagine it yet. This makes me miss Hillside.

Remembering the first and last time

I have had the incredible experience of breastfeeding my dear son for nearly 13 months. Yesterday was our last time. I never thought I was emotional about nursing. But weaning has proven difficult for me emotionally. I guess it's the end of his time as a baby. He's toddling around now. No longer needing mommy to provide for his every need. I loved that I could comfort him when he was sad, or send him off to dreamland, or calm him down when we was angry. I know that he will still need me for some of that, but with nursing, I was the only one who could comfort him like that.

I remember the first time I nursed him. Right after my c-section, I was wheeled to the recovery room where friends and family were waiting. I held Adam and just admired his little face. I was surprised that he was so human! That this little person had just thirty minutes earlier been inside of me. He looked at me as if to say, "hi mom, let's eat!" And he opened his mouth as if I had a big bite of ice cream on a spoon ready to feed him. I was like "woah, how does he know what to do? Can I really do this?!" And so began our 13 month journey!

For those first few weeks, he nursed about every 2 hours, day and night! He often looked like a little drunk man when he finished. Like he was in total euphoria! Then he gradually went to sleeping most of the night, and nursing every 3 hours during the day. Then he started eating solid meals twice a day when he was about 7 months old, nursing the other times. When he was ten months, he was nursing about 4 times a day, then three. When he turned one, he was only nursing when he woke up and when he went to bed. These were the last to go.

I once told a friend that I had not counted the cost of breastfeeding. I took the decision very lightly. "Of course I'll nurse him." But I didn't realize how much of a commitment that it was. But I am so grateful that I had the time and the ability to. I know that so many women can't. I feel so blessed to have done this for Adam and for me.

Refreshed

We are home from our week long beach vacation with my parents, sister, and Robert's parents. I feel more rested than I have in two years. It was so nice to have other people taking care of Adam. I devoured several magazines from cover to cover. I journaled. I listened to Gilmore Girls podcasts that Robert found for me. I played with my son. Robert and I talked about our goals for the next year, and we even had a few dates. I desperately needed this time away from home. It took me several days to unwind though. I don't think I fully relaxed until Thursday. My life has definately had a different pace as a mom. I don't know that it's harder than teaching, but definately a job that never stops. The best part of the trip was watching Adam discover how fun it is to crawl in the sand! The most memorable part was parasailing twice!